January drinkies - roll call

Waitrose Food Illustrated lied. I may have to take it up with the editor. January 09's Lancashire Cheese Straws were alleged to take 10 minutes' preparation and 10 minutes' cooking. Lie. A single egg yolk was deemed sufficient to bind 200g flour, 100g butter and 100g cheese. Another lie. With the rolling and breaking and moistening and re-rolling, 17 cheese straws somehow took 40 minutes to prepare and almost 15 minutes to cook. I was planning to make a second batch, but I abandoned that idea as the dough crumbled for a second time and all my edges feathered. Still, they looked ok, they tasted reasonable (a bit dry; short, maybe. I don't really know what that means), and they all got eaten. Along with:

Feta filo parcels. Fresh filo better than frozen - frozen a little floury. Easy to make but a bit on the dull side. Currently seeking new filling ideas. Comments, please.

Spanish tortilla. Served in cubes, which surprised the half-Span guest. Thanks, Rebato's. Nod to Marina for the prep tips. (Marina's (Spanish) way? Nothing like the Good Housekeeping way. No turmeric, for starters. Yes, she was as confused by that as I was.).

My staple salsa. Too chunky for crisps; best eaten with a spoon.

My staple guacamole. So long since I catered, I almost forgot how to make it. Fortunately had bought lemons... I belatedly remembered the lime. Not sure I actually tasted the guac. Boo.

Tyrell's ready salted hand-cooked crisps. Never tasted.

Sainsbury's 'mozzarella cheese straws' - mozzarella in their 'Signature' (TM) crumb. Awful. Oozed on heating, tasteless and rubbery mozz.

Sainsbury's 'garlic and cheese bites. Still in the freezer.

Crostini with pesto and roasted tomatoes. Yummy, easy, but the ciabatta not toasted enough.

Chocolate sandwich cake, with raspberry jam. I'm so over the jam filling. Back to buttercream for me.

Chocolate cornflake cakes. From the Woman's Own Cookery Book, 1968. Quadrupled the quantity; made 24 bigguns. Delish. Steve asked how old I am, 12? Killjoy. (He's from Manchester. Says it all.)

Dates stuffed with marzipan (resembling hot dogs) like my mum used to. They look so anachronistic, I was quite embarrassed. But people liked them, clearly didn't remember them from the 70s and it meant Flesh had a little more to eat than the plain ciabatta that was otherwise the only thing I had bothered to concoct for a vegan.

Not a bad spread, I think, but the table was in the corner, and people sat rather than milled, so it was hard to nibble without someone constantly offering plates around. Always happy to fulfil a stereotype, our American friend, S, ignored everyone else's reserve and the lack of plates and napkins and asked for a napkin so she could carry more back to her place on the sofa.

I stupidly didn't buy any soft drinks, but had invited a clutch of drivers and a room full of parents of under-ones, so I forced booze onto most of them, or they made do with water.

Next time, I will ditch the ready mades, find more stuff I can make the day before (5 hours in the morning was not long enough), remembere the soft drinks and I might try these cheese straws instead.